I am pretty much fed up reading blogs about what really makes a woman beautiful. And there is one that inspired me to write this little piece. You can check it out in the link below:
http://elitedaily.com/women/what-really-makes-a-woman-beautiful/
Now, I do want to make a point very clear. I am not here to bash the person that wrote this because to some extent, they are attempting to do a positive impact on any girl who reads the article to help them feel better about themselves. That is my point of view at least. And honestly, my respects to the author because a lot of girls do need a boost of self esteem from time to time, including myself. But there are a lot of things that I do not agree with and here is my issue. A lot of women or people in general do NOT feel INADEQUATE because society bombards them with images of "unreal" people that are photoshopped on ads. That is what a lot of people say in order to sugar coat the real issue. So I am going to break it down for you.
Admit it. Ever since middle school, even elementary school, you would compare yourself to the girls around you, not magazine ads or the media. You would actually look at these beautiful women on tv with the flawless body and tell yourself "I want to be like her when I grow up!" even if it was a fictional figure like Wonder Woman. And now a days, you still want to dress up like her on Halloween. Figures. Anyway, ever since we started growing up and hitting puberty, you would not hate on these people on magazines, but you actually admired them.
Things started to get personal with yourself when you would start to wonder why it was always that one girl in your school who got all the attention from the guys. Yup, I know you have that one girl in your mind right now and can even remember her first and last name. And might still envy her even though she is probably long gone from your life right now. Well, when she was in your life, it was torture. Maybe it was because she had better hair, not as much as an awkward body like you did, or simply because her boobs were growing a lot faster than yours. And now a days I still wonder why they never reached that size I would have loved and she did. lol.
My point is, as awkward as it is to say it, that 13 year old back then was "beautiful"probably because she was taking better care of herself than you were. Or that is what she made it seem like. For example, I remember in 6th grade PE class I would dread wearing shorts because I still had hairy legs that made me feel like a monkey so I would wear sweatpants and to complement, a baggy shirt. My hair was always up in a ponytail. But not even a good looking ponytail! I did not have bangs so I was insecure about my forehead. Make up? Nope. Frizzy hair. The works.
And then one day I decided to shave my legs and it was a glorious day. I picked up an eyelash curler, and some mascara and those little details made a HUGE difference. Not only in my looks, but my self esteem. I felt pretty. Not as pretty as that one girl, but it was a start. I did NOT do those thing because society attacked me with unreachable images of women. I did it because I knew a little cleaning up would make me feel better. I also did it to attempt to get my crushes to like me, which was an epic fail until high school probably. But little by little and at its proper time, I did make changes and felt more comfortable in my skin. As for the girl that I was always jealous of back then, she is still pretty gorgeous today. Hot even, and gets multiple comments about how hot and bangable she is on Instagram. (You can imagine the pictures). But it doesn't bother me like it did back then. Once I started to take care of myself, I felt not only pretty, but beautiful. If someone comes up to me today and tells me I am ugly, I'll stick my middle finger up to them! Jk. I am not that hard core, but I will probably have a smirk on my face because I wouldn't believe them as I would have back then.
If you read the link I posted above it says:
"You take a trip to CVS and close your eyes as you walk through the make up isle, where millions of perfect faces with big lips and supple skin stare down at your greasy hair and unchiseled cheek bones"
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!
Step 1: Cut a hole in the box
Step 2: Buy some shampoo
Step 3: Get some help. They are just pictures. They don't stare you down.
That just screams insecurity.
If you feel like the girl in the article, it is YOUR fault for not doing something about it. PERIOD. I hate how the word "beautiful" is based on an image. Is it really fair for you to do that? And this is the reason why I do not think everyone is beautiful. Because as harsh as it sounds, I DO NOT THINK EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL. Being beautiful is a state of action, not a state of being. So many people out there let themselves go, don't like the end result of what they have been doing, and instead of doing something about it, decide to blame media and the evil world and like to say "every girl is beautiful" despite their shape, size, blah blah, blah...which is honestly a false statement for me. You know who is beautiful? Someone who takes care of themselves, someone who overcomes anything that harms them and who respect themselves. Your body is your temple! You are not ugly because you are obese or skinny. What makes you ugly is that you feel sorry for yourself and decide to stay that way. You don't like your hair? Change it. Don't like your figure, fix it! Change your eating habits, try something different, give extra oxygen to your body. Live a little! Becoming a CONFORMIST is UGLY which is what a lot of people are now a days. If you give some care and love to your body, trust me, it will love you back.
These are my favorite excuses btw:
-"God made me this way". Um no.
-"Its in my genes". Your theory is... FALSE.
-"If you love me, you would accept me how I am." Hun, if you don't love yourself, how do you expect someone else to love you?
How you have handled yourself is what you have made of yourself. Now, call me a judging jerk face. Curse me out in your head. By now you probably think I think overweight people are ugly. That I am so full of myself. All of which I think is false.
I am a wellness coach and see the beauty of people when they decide to do something for themselves and start loving themselves more whether they want to lose weight, gain weight, or simply have more energy. There is no room for perfection here, but there is always room for improvement!
One of my favorite mentors once said there are 3 ways you can die in this life:
1) The day you physically die
2) When you stop learning
3)When you conform to anything
Don't let this be you. There are so many ways you can start if you are stuck. Use the internet wisely! Ask for help. Read a book. Watch a youtube video of how to curl your eyelashes. Invest in yourself. ANYTHING!
If you are afraid of make up, don't be. I don't see it as a way of being "fake". On the contrary, I think it can really highlight some of your most unique features. Fake are the ones who sugar coat stuff.
So right now, I do not think everyone is beautiful. But they can be when they start acting on it.
Stay classy btw! Your self dignity does not have to be sacrificed. Being Hot and Beautiful are two different things.
FINISH RANT HERE.
